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"You will reciprocally promise love, loyalty, and matrimonial honesty. We only want for you this day that these words constitute the principle of your entire life and that with the help of divine grace you will observe these solemn vows that today, before God, you formulate."
-Saint Pope John Paul II
Congratulations on your engagement! Your time of engagement is an exciting time for you with many details to consider. Of utmost importance is the opportunity to prepare yourself to receive this most beautiful sacrament in the Catholic Church.
A nice introduction to a wedding and marriage in the Catholic Church is to watch the video "Saying I Do: What Happens at a Catholic Wedding." This 23-minute video, produced by For Your Marriage, an initiative of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, will give you an overall perspective in preparing for your wedding in the Catholic Church.
Listed below are the steps pertaining to engaged couples desiring to be married in the Catholic Church and who live within the Diocese of Santa Rosa. It is important to review and become familiar with this section of the Marriage Preparation Policy that lists the the seven components required in completing the mariage preparation process. There is also a Checklist for Engaged Couples to help guide you in the process.
Click here to read the pages of the Marriage Preparation Policy explaining the seven components.
Click here to review the Checklist for Engaged Couples.
►#1 Initial meeting with Priest The very first step in the Marriage Preparation Process is to contact your local parish and meet with your Pastor. He will be anxious to talk with you about the beauty of marriage in the Catholic Church and will also go over the marriage preparation components. He should be able to answer any questions you may have. To give you plenty of time to comfortably accomplish the various marriage preparation components, we recommend that you begin this process at least 9-12 months in advance of your planned wedding date.
► #2 FOCCUS After meeting with the Pastor of your local parish, the next component in the Marriage Preparation Process is to complete FOCCUS, the "pre-nuptial inventory." Your pastor may be able to administer the inventory for you or may direct you to a qualified FOCCUS facilitator. The FOCCUS inventory is done on-line and is available in English and Spanish. Normally the follow-up with a FOCCUS facilitatior is done in person, but due to the Coronavirus situation it may be necessary to complete this inventory discussion using ZOOM. For details about FOCCUS, go to: www.foccusinc.com
►#3 Witness to Love After completing the FOCCUS inventory, the next component of the Marriage Preparation Process is to participate in the Witness to Love mentoring program.
What is Witness to Love? Witness to Love is a virtues-based, instructional model of marriage preparation that integrates modern principles of psychology and the virtues to help couples facilitate an authentic dialogue about their relationship. Witness to Love is unique in that the engaged couple chooses their own mentor couple to help guide them through the reality of Christian married life. In the sharing of the mentor couples’ own marriage journey, the engaged couple inherits a “lifeline” of support in their commitment to live their own marriage vows.
Your local pastor should be able to assist you in getting started in this marriage preparation component. Witness to Love is available in English or Spanish. For specific details, go to: www.witnesstolove.org
PLEASE NOTE: Due to the Coronavirus situation, it is unfortunately not possible to complete this component of the marriage preparation process. Until in-person meetings are allowed again, this component is waived for engaged couples working to complete all of the needed components.
►#4 Marriage Formation An important component in the Marriage Preparation Process is to participate in a Marriage Formation Program. Listed below are links to two of the options available. Click here to review the "Marriage Formation Program Options."
♦ CatholicMarriagePrep.com: This is one of the Marriage Formation Program Options . It is an on-line program and is available in English or Spanish.- For information on the pre-cana course and to register, please go to: Register for Diocese of Santa Rosa
♦ Catholic Engaged Encounter Weekends: This is another option to fulfill the Marriage Formation Program component. Normally CEE weekends are held in-person, but due to Coronavirus, "virtual" weekends are available. Please check the websites of the specific locations for details. ( http://www.engagedencounter.org)
or...
Sacramento (https://www.sacee.org/)
2021 weekend dates: March 19-21
May 28-30
September 3-5
November 5-7
San Francisco ( http://sfcee.org/ )
2021 weekend dates: March 20-21 (Full)
April 24-25 (Full)
May 15-16
June 26-27
September 25-26
San Jose (in Spanish) (http://encuentrodenoviossj.org /)
Retiro's Virtuales 2021 fechas: Febrero 27-28
Abril 10-11
Mayo 15-16
Junio 26-27
Agosto 14-15
► #5 God Is! Another component of the Marriage Preparation Process is to attend a one-day " God Is! Day of Renewal" retreat. This retreat is an opportunity for you to experience the fullness of faith as found in the Catholic Church. This retreat meets people along their faith journey, reaching out through a variety of interactions and experiences during the day. The God Is! Day of Renewal also provides a wonderful opportunity for the Catholic engaged couple (or individual if both are not Catholic) to participate in the Sacrament of Reconcilation, an important part of the preparation for receiving the Sacrament of Matrimony.
The God Is! Day of Renewal retreats are given at various locations throughout the Diocese of Santa Rosa. The scheduled retreats are: PLEASE NOTE: All scheduled God Is! Day of Renewal retreats have been CANCELLED due to Coronavirus. As soon the situation changes with regards to being able to safely gather in groups again, a new schedule will be established. For engaged couples getting married before any God Is! retreats are scheduled again, this component is waived.
En Espanol: Nada esta programado por el momento.
►#6 Natural Family Planning The Natural Family Planning (NFP) component of the Marriage Preparation Process consists of a 2-hour introductory class. NFP is the general title for the scientific, natural, and moral methods of family planning that can help married couples either achieve or postpone pregnancies. NFP methods are based on the observation of the normally occurring signs and symptoms of the fertile and infertile phases of a woman's natural monthly cycle. No drugs, devices, or surgical procedures are used to avoid pregnancy. Since the methods of NFP respect the love-giving (unitive) and life-giving (procreative) nature of the conjugal act, they support God's design for married love!
PLEASE NOTE: "In-person" NFP intro classes have been CANCELLED due to Coronavirus. However, to inquire about how to complete this component of the Marriage Preparation Process, please contact the Marriage & Family Life Office at: familylife@srdiocese.org or (707)-566-3305. A certificate will be issued after completion of the NFP component.
► #7 Final Meeting with Priest This last step occurs when all the components of the marriage preparation process have been completed. It is now time to meet again with your priest to have another conversation and to review your experience in preparing for your marriage. If all is in order, this conversation will lead to focusing on the Sacramental and Liturgical aspects of your wedding ceremony.
Click here to read Bishop Vasa's "Decree" of the updated Marriage Preparation Policy.Click here to read the entire updated Marriage Preparation Policy.
An additional resource in Marriage Preparation:
For Your Marriage is an initiative of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) with resources for couples who are at all stages of relationship: dating, engaged, and married. It is designed to assist Catholic couples prepare for the Sacrament of Matrimony and provide information for married couples on Catholic parenting, co-parenting, entering second marriages, and many other relational situations.
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