Marriage Preparation
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"You will reciprocally promise love, loyalty, and matrimonial honesty. We only want for you this day that these words constitute the principle of your entire life and that with the help of divine grace you will observe these solemn vows that today, before God, you formulate."-Saint Pope John Paul II
Congratulations on your engagement! Your time of engagement is an exciting time for you with many details to consider. Of utmost importance is the opportunity to prepare yourself to receive this most beautiful sacrament in the Catholic Church.
A nice introduction to a wedding and marriage in the Catholic Church is available for you by watching the video "Saying I Do: What Happens at a Catholic Wedding." This 23-minute video, produced by For Your Marriage, an initiative of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, will give you an overall perspective in preparing for your wedding in the Catholic Church.
Listed below are the steps pertaining to engaged couples desiring to be married in the Catholic Church and who live within the Diocese of Santa Rosa. It is important to review and become familiar with this section of the Marriage Preparation Policy that lists the the seven components required in completing the mariage preparation process. There is also a Checklist for Engaged Couples to help guide you in the process.
Click here to read the pages of the Marriage Preparation Policy explaining the seven components.
Click here to review the Checklist for Engaged Couples.
Here are the steps of the marriage preparation process listed in order:
►Step #1 Initial meeting with Priest or Deacon The very first step in the marriage preparation process is to contact and meet with your local parish priest or deacon. He will be anxious to talk with you about the beauty of marriage in the Catholic Church and will also go over the various required marriage preparation components listed below. He should be able to answer any questions you may have. To give you plenty of time to adequately accomplish the various marriage preparation components, we recommend that you begin this process at least 9-12 months in advance of your desired wedding date.
► Step #2 FOCCUS After meeting with the priest or deacon of your local parish, the next component in the marriage preparation process is to complete FOCCUS, the "pre-nuptial inventory." The FOCCUS inventory is done on-line and is available in English or Spanish. Once you have completed the inventory, your priest or deacon may be able to facilitate the FOCCUS follow-up sessions with you or may direct you to a FOCCUS facilitator. Normally the follow-up sessions with the FOCCUS facilitatior are done in person, but it may also be possible complete this inventory discussion using Zoom. For general information about FOCCUS, please go to: www.foccusinc.com Please note: Your FOCCUS facilitator must register you for your FOCCUS inventory - you are not able to register yourself.
►Step #3 Witness to Love After completing the FOCCUS inventory, the next component of the marriage preparation process is to participate in the Witness to Love mentoring program. Witness to Love is a marriage preparation program that is unique in that the engaged couple chooses their own mentor couple and together they work through six fun and stimulating sessions to help guide them through the reality of Christian married life. Your priest or deacon should be able to assist you in getting started in this marriage preparation component. Witness to Love is available in English or Spanish. For specific details, go to: www.witnesstolove.org
►Step #4 Marriage Formation An important component in the marriage preparation process is the requirement to participate in a Marriage Formation Program. Listed below are links to two of the options available for you. You are free to choose either program listed below that best suits your needs (e.g., your personal or work schedule, where you live, date of your wedding, etc):
♦ CatholicMarriagePrep.com: This is one of the Marriage Formation Program options available for you. It is an on-line program and is available in English or Spanish. You complete this on-line marriage formation program at your own pace. For information on this "pre-cana" course and to register, please go to: Register for Diocese of Santa Rosa
♦ Catholic Engaged Encounter Retreat Weekends This is the other option available for you to fulfill the Marriage Formation Program requirement. Unfortunately the Diocese of Santa Rosa does not have Catholic Engaged Encounter retreat weekends available within the Diocese. Please check the websites listed below for the specific locations and details for nearby Catholic Engaged Encounter opportunities. (www.engagedencounter.org)
or...
Sacramento Diocese (www.sacee.org or call 916-534-8602)
2024 weekend dates: January 12-14
March 15-17
May 24-26
August 30- September 1
November 22-24
Stockton Diocese (stocktonee.com or call/text 209-645-0267)
2024 weekend dates: February 17-18
March 23-24
May 25-26
July 13-14
September 14-15
November 9-10
San Jose Diocese (in English: sanjose.engagedencounter.com)
2024 weekend dates: Dates to come
(in Spanish: sanjosesp.engagedencounter.com)
2024 fin de semana: marzo 6-7
julio 13-14
septiembre 7-8
Favor de Comunicarse con: Guillermo y Belen Marquez (408-363-0644) ceelaregistro@gmail.com
Monterey Diocese (weekends held in San Juan Bautista)(monterey.engagedencounter.com)
2024 weekend dates: January 13-14
March 2-3
May 25-26
July 27-28
October 26-27
monterey@engagedencounter.com Marianne & Ron DeDore
► Step #5 God Is! Another component of the marriage preparation process is to attend a one-day " God Is! Day of Renewal" retreat. This retreat is an opportunity for you to experience the fullness of faith as found in the Catholic Church. The God Is! Day of Renewal also provides a wonderful opportunity for the Catholic engaged couple (or individual if both are not Catholic) to participate in the Sacrament of Reconciliation, an important part of the preparation for receiving the Sacrament of Matrimony.
Check here for some testimonials from people who have attended a God Is! Day of Renewal: God Is! Testimonials
The God Is! Day of Renewal retreats are given at various locations throughout the Diocese of Santa Rosa. The next scheduled retreat is:
None scheduled at this time.
PLEASE NOTE: Check back here to find a God Is! Day of Renewal retreat that is scheduled and accessible to you. For engaged couples getting married before any God Is! Day of Renewal retreats are scheduled, the God Is! component is waived.
En Espanol: Nada esta programado por el momento.
►Step #6 Natural Family Planning The Natural Family Planning (NFP) component of the marriage preparation process consists of watching, at your convenience, one NFP introductory video followed by participating in the NFP Basics Course on-line. NFP is the general title for the scientific, natural, and moral methods of family planning that can help married couples either achieve or postpone a pregnancy. NFP methods are based on the observation of the naturally occurring biological signs and symptoms of the fertile and infertile phases of a woman's monthly cycle. Since the various methods of NFP respect the love-giving (unitive) and life-giving (procreative) nature of the marital act, they support God's design for married love and are an important aspect of the Catholic Church's teaching on marital intimacy. For lots of great info on NFP, click here: NFP page.
PLEASE NOTE: To complete this NFP component of the marriage preparation process in English or in Spanish, please contact the Marriage & Family Life Office at: familylife@srdiocese.org or call (707) 566-3305 for a link to the introductory video and information on how to register for the NFP Basics Course. A certificate will be issued to you after completion of this NFP component.
► And finally, Step #7 Final Meeting with Priest or Deacon This last step occurs when all the components of the marriage preparation process have been completed. It is now time to meet again with your priest or deacon to have another conversation and to review your experience in preparing for your marriage. If all is in order, this conversation will lead to focusing on the Sacramental and Liturgical aspects of your wedding ceremony. Congratulations on completing the marriage preparation process! And blessings to you for your wedding and for a life in the joy of marriage.
For Your Marriage is an initiative of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) with resources for couples who are at all stages of relationship: dating, engaged, and married. It is designed to assist Catholic couples prepare for the Sacrament of Matrimony and provide information for married couples on Catholic parenting, co-parenting, entering second marriages, and many other relational situations.
Additional resources in Marriage Preparation:
Note: For engaged women only! This is a video series for women about what really matters during your engagement - your heart and what is going on inside of it during this time! Noted speaker, YouTuber, and author, Emily Wilson, will walk alongside you like a sister on your journey, covering topics that you will encounter but topics that are rarely talked about or addressed - ones that she needed guidance on and you will, too. Check it out! Go to: Navigating Engagement with Emily Wilson NOTE: There is a price discount if you register through this link!
Click here to read Bishop Vasa's "Decree" of the updated Marriage Preparation Policy.Click here to read the entire updated Marriage Preparation Policy.
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