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SURVIVAL TIPS For Making Your Marriage Thrive in 2021 and Beyond
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February 3, 2021
SURVIVAL TIPS
For Making Your Marriage Thrive in 2021 and Beyond
There’s no doubt that we are all experiencing high degrees of stress and anxiety in our lives right now. It is certainly understandable with all the issues we all are facing, especially due to the Covid-19 pandemic. And it is quite probable that this stress and anxiety is leading to strains in marriage relationships.
We have been married for just over 42 years now and we know from our own personal experiences how significant unexpected conditions can alter one’s life and then lead to conflict in your marriage. It can be hard at times just to survive our regular “normal” lives (remember those?), but then it can seem outright impossible to
survive now when we’re in the middle of this global pandemic! So, if you’re married, what is your plan for marital survival 2021, whether you are newly married, are married with children (at whatever age) in the home, or are like us, “empty nesters”?
If you are feeling the stress and anxiety of our current times, and we are guessing pretty much everyone is, we want to share a few
thoughts on how to survive and thrive in your marriage during these challenging times. Throughout our marriage we have tried to live by these very same tips, so if we can do it, you can too!
Some thoughts to consider for “marital survival” in 2021:
1. Pray together every day. We have found this to be a very relaxing, calming time in our day. We say the rosary together, taking turns as to who leads.
It is best when we are at home sitting comfortably, but we have done this in the car when traveling, in airports, while on a walk (one of our favorites), or sitting on a bench in a park.
2. Find some time in the day to spend together without distractions, meaning away from the TV, phones, and especially the computer screen (including video games!). This could be rosary time too. We occasionally stop for an afternoon tea, even for just 15 minutes or so, just to sit and chat.
3. Communicate daily (which means to listen first and talk second!). So important!!! Frequent communication is important for so many things that come up on a daily basis. “Hey hon, what’s on your schedule for today?”
4. Be thankful, so find opportunities to say “thanks”! And don’t be afraid to say the “L” word either!!! We did our whole article on this in the past Sept-Oct edition of the North Coast Catholic.
5. Allow for some personal time alone. Respect each other’s need for time to do their own thing alone. Deacon Dave really likes his garage time and Carlin enjoys immersing herself into a good book.
6. Did we mention communication? Are you paying attention to me?
7. Find moments for physical affection including time for the marital embrace. The communion of husband and wife, the giving of a gift of oneself to another, is important in a marriage relationship. Make the time for some romance!
8. Openly share thoughts and ideas and worries about your family finances. In these difficult times, staying on the same page with your finances is very important.
9. Don’t be afraid to speak up when you are feeling anxious or frustrated about life. We are all experiencing these emotions and it is important to let your spouse know what you are experiencing.
10. Don’t be afraid to get professional counseling help if needed. Deacon Dave loves to fix things around the house, but sometimes it is best to call in a professional to handle certain jobs!
11. Try to take walks together, maybe even daily if you can. Getting out of the house (not socially distanced-this is your beloved!), breathing in the fresh air, getting some exercise, and seeing the world around you at a walking pace is a great way to relieve some stress. We try to do it every day, rain or shine!
12. Ask: “What can I do to help you today?” Our wedding day vows committed us to lovingly care for each other. What a nice way to approach each day of your married life
May God bless us all in 2021! Pax Christi,
Carlin and Deacon Dave Gould
Co-directors of Marriage and Family Life Office
